you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
