i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize