I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
