2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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