I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
