If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
