take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
