I just cut my nipple shaving
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
how drunk are you?
Several
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize