The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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