you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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