I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
as a side note pls kill me
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
