I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
