Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
