If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
