I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
