one two three fourrrrnication!
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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