she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
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