Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
