..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
