so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
