I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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