Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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