Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
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