did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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