Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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