i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
