This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
