I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
