that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
