Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Randomize
