just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
