We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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