Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
