so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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