So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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