i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
