is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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