Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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