i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
