im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
