this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
