Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
