Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize