I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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