Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
