some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
