So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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