who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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