If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I puked a lego.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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