I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We left the knife in your bed.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize