Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
