So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
