Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
