last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
