just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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