ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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