i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
