the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
