and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
That reminds me...we need to get swords
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
