Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
