I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
