I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
