Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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