i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
