so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
