so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
