is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You pole danced in your parka.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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